how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
