So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize