Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well you can't waste a boner
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
