Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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