is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
