theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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