He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
