two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
