I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize