please come you make the beer taste better
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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