i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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