dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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