batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
