So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
