Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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