I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
