I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
