week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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