And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Semen is not good for contacts.
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You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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