if i can run in heels then i can drive
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we made out on top of his cat.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
