I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
