we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
