there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
