yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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