the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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