And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
