he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
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Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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