I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize