I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I want her autograph on my taint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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