Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
