I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
