You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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