Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
