She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize