Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
