Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
