i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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