I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
