Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
