After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
