Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
