Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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