dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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