we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize