can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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