Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
MIDGETS
????
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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