ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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