I feel like abortions should bother me more
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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