Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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