singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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