Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Houston, we have a squirter
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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