PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she peed on how many people?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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