jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
