was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My liver just had a heart attack.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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