i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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