PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This baby is an asshole
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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